How Do I See Myself??

We are in the thick of it now!  The pressure is really on because our big reveal is 17 days away.  We are planning our wardrobe, hair and make up.  We are picking out our "theme songs" and wondering who will be the winner.  We are all so close that there is no telling where we will finish at this point!  We are all trying to eat as clean as possible and train as hard and as much as we can.  This is the really exciting part though because we can really see and feel the weight loss.  I've had a closet full of clothes for years that were so varied in sizes yet still nothing fit.  Well, I still have that problem, except that now, most of it is all too big!  I am pretty excited about that!

Its funny how I knew I needed to lose weight and knew that I was bigger than I have ever been (besides pregnancy) yet somehow when I looked at myself in the mirror I did NOT see that I was that heavy.  I think I still saw myself 30 pounds lighter.  Then I would see a picture of myself and think, whooooaaa, who is that?  Is this because I think of myself the way I feel?  One of the other girls in the BWLC with me said just the opposite the other day.  She said that even though she has lost weight (and looks amazing, by the way) that she still sees the fat girl in the mirror every day.  This makes me wonder what this says about self perception?  Was I in denial that I had gotten older and heavier over the past several years of having and caring for my babies?  Is it just that my brain has this 25 year old version of myself that it refuses to let go of?  I often say that I don't feel that much different than I did as a teenager (hopefully wiser and more mature, however).  Looking back at the pictures taken of us during this competition there is no denying it!  Wow, the pictures of us at the beginning are....well awful.  Slowly as I flipped through them I started to recognize myself as the person I think of myself as being.  We have all changed so much, I am so proud of us all.  I am so grateful for this experience (I'm pretty sure I have said that before, but really, thank you Dan, thank you Nicole!) 

I had to make a tough decision this past week.  The kids are on Spring Break next week and it is our "year" to spend Easter with my family in Wilmington, NC.  With the competition being so close to over, I am so nervous about leaving town and having less control over what I eat and missing 2 of the last few workouts I have left with Dan and the girls.  We had considered just not going this year and staying in Gainesville.  Then my Grandmother (who just turned 94) had a stroke.  She is doing really well and got out of her rehab facility last week, but the emotional pull to see her is just so strong.  I also have my Granny there that just had her pacemaker replaced....another emotional pull.  I grew up with my family all around me, I saw my grandparents every week.  I need to go home, I need to see my mom and let my children spend time with them.  Samantha needs to have an Easter egg hunt at my Aunt's house...this is what is best for me.  Yet, still, I have guilt about leaving and missing workouts.  I felt like a teenager coming in to tell my Daddy I had gotten in trouble when I told Dan I was going to be out of town.  I feel like I am letting the group down by not being there.  I am worried I am giving them the edge too.  I will have to work extra hard at my diet and exercise!!

I am excited about the last phase of this competition (how many times have I said "excited", maybe I have been watching too much Timmy Tebow?)  I know, you can NEVER watch too much Tebow!  Anyway, I am excited, but also nervous about the independence we are supposed to be gaining.  I know this is the plan, but I reallllyyyy like this thing we have going and I am not excited about it ending.  I feel confident that I can keep up the clean eating.  I am sure I will stay active and continue to make training a priority.  I also know that I will miss the BWLC! 

www.sweatlifefitness.com
www.gigglemag.com

The Countdown to the End is Near

I know, I know, I have been really bad about updating my blog.  I've just been so busy training and taking care of the kiddos and hubby that this is the first time I've actually gotten on a "real" computer in weeks!  Here is the quick update, as of today, I have officially lost 28 pounds.  woo-hoo!  The last 3 pounds have taken two weeks to come off and it was painfully slow....I knew that it would slow down, but it's hard to not be impatient!  I know patience is a virtue, but I am a really impatient person.  I'll work on that next year. 

I'm pretty pumped today, I went and picked up my packet for the Run for Haven 5K that we are running on Saturday!  I never thought I would be able to actually RUN a 5K.  I'm not a runner, I used to like to run "the loop" at Wrightsville Beach in high school, but I wasn't very good at it.  I'm trying though, I've been running (and by this I mean jogging very slowly) over the last few weeks trying to build myself up to magic 3.1 miles.  I am pretty excited that I actually ran 3.69 miles in 42 minutes yesterday.  My goal was just to be able to run the whole distance on Saturday so I feel pretty confident that I can do it!  I would also be lying if I said I didn't want one of those medals that only the first 400 finishers get!!  As of today they had over 600 people already registered so, if you're not that quick, it means I have to be faster than at least 200 racers....which is pretty unlikely.  Maybe there will be a group of 200 strollers and walkers in the back.....

I also got some really good news from the doctor last week.  I hadn't been to see my Primary Care Doctor since June of 2009 (before I got pregnant with Samantha) so I thought it was a good time to get a check up and labs.  The labs are where the good news comes in.  I have every reason to believe that my labs from 2009 were about the same, if not worse, up until Jan when I started this weight loss challenge.  Here are the changes:  My cholesterol dropped from 226 to 188!  My LDL (the bad one) dropped from 142 to 124 and here is the amazing one, my triglycerides dropped from 138 to 32.  Yes I said 32.  This is 100% because of the clean eating and exercise I've been doing!  If you need any more proof that this works, I don't know how to help you.  So, needless to say my doc was pretty happy with me and we talked a lot about what I am eating (and not eating) and she couldn't have been more pleased.  Dan, what can I say, you know your stuff. 

Wish us luck on Saturday, we even have matching t-shirts Step designed for us :-)  I'll let you know if I get a medal :-)

Goals: setting them, acheiving them...are we really ever happy with them?

The title sounds like this is a depressing post, but it's not!  I've just been thinking since we got our week 8 measurement results from Dan about my personal weight loss goals and wondered if I will ever stop having weight loss goals.  My guess is no, I can't EVER remember a time that I didn't want to be thinner, no matter how thin I was at the time, I always wanted to lose weight. For this 14 week weight loss challenge I set an aggressive goal of wanting to lose 30-40 pounds.  I also set a year long weight loss goal because I want to continue to lose after the BWLC is over.  Once the year is over will I just set a new goal?

How many women out there do you know that are happy with their bodies and see no reason at all for change?  Not many, although I have recently met one such lucky lady.  I told her I was using her in my next blog, so I hope she doesn't mind :-)  Off handily this person said to me "Well, I've reached my goal, weight, but I still like to run with someone for the company".  She said a lot of other stuff too, I am sure, but once she said she had hit her goal weight (as in final goal weight, not short term one before she sets another one) she lost me...that was all I heard.  Wow, really, I don't know that I have ever heard someone say that to me (OK, maybe except for my cousin, the fit model, but she is always still "working on her body").  Don't get me wrong, she has every right to say it, she looks fantastic, but still, even the women I think look great always say they need to lose weight.  I can assure you that even though I was a lot thinner than I am now in my younger days, I have never been worried about being too thin!  I mean I'll bet even as a baby nobody worried about whether I was getting enough to eat..haha!  I never thought I was "where I wanted to be."  If I lost 10 pounds I wanted to lose 10 more. 
I have always been active, played sports, did gymnastics for 5 years, softball since I was 7 years old and actually liked to exercise.  I mean I like working out (training is a better word, I know) and for the most part have done so on a regular basis. I was always good at doing the newest thing: step aerobics, kick boxing, elliptical machine, yoga, Body Pump, Zumba, etc. What I have now learned is that by training for specific goals I get more out of the time I spend exercising.  I also know that, for me, I HAVE to eat right and exercise twice as hard to see results.  I think I may not actually have a metabolism..is that possible?  Just kidding, but I know that I have been really really doing a good job of eating clean and even adhering to Dan's SPARK diet at about 99%.  I have been working really hard at our group training sessions and have been doing my own workouts on the off days too.  I am seeing results, pretty good ones too for 8 weeks, but when I step on that scale I always want it to be more, or less, you know what I mean!  Will I ever be satisfied?
Another good friend of mine said something else a few weeks ago.  She too has been training for weight loss for over a year now and she said she came to the realization that maybe she just needed to be happy with who she was and where she was.  She has lost a good amount of weight, gained a lot of strength and looks amazing.  So, if we are healthy and at a healthy weight, can we stop setting weight loss goals?  I'll get back to you on that :-)

Here are my 8 week stats ( I know y'all want to know!)
Weight: -21 pounds
Thighs"  -3" in each leg
Hips: -5"
Abdomen:  -1.5"
Arms:  -1" in each arm
OK, so if you're not quick at math that is a total of 21 pounds and 14.5" gone from my body!

Yeah, I know that is pretty impressive, thanks Dan, thanks Giggle! 

www.sweatlifefitness.com
www.gigglemag.com

The Ripple Effect

Wow, I didn't realize the impact that this weight loss challenge would have on so many people! Over the last few weeks I have had so many people tell me about the changes they have made to their lives since I've started the challenge!  OK, I'm not saying that it is ALL because of me, but inspiring my friends and family to also want to eat clean, exercise more, lose weight, get stronger is such a good feeling.  My husband has lost weight, my mom has lost weight, several of my friends are losing weight and making healthier choices.  I know some of it is just because it is contagious, when someone you are friends with is making changes, it's easier to do it.  Some of it is probably because I am buying better food at home.  Some of it (and I am not naming any names here, but she knows who she is) is because well..as she put it "If you get too skinny, we can't be friends anymore!"  Hey, girls are girls, right?  :-)

I have embraced the Sweat Life, I love the training..even when it kicks my butt, maybe even more so then!  The eating clean is a challenge at times and I have to learn to be creative, but I haven done so well at it.  I have not "cheated" and most of the cravings are gone!  Don't get me wrong, if there was a pizza sitting in front of me, I would want to eat it, but I know I wouldn't! 

We are about halfway through the challenge and I am dreading it ending.  It is easy to go three times a week and have Dan tell us exactly what to do and how we should eat.  Being accountable to the girls, Giggle and Dan makes it easy to eat right.  One of the other girls wrote in her blog about being afraid of disappointing Dan.  She is so right about that and I hope she knows that we all feel that way!  I know it is supposed to be about not wanting to disappoint ourselves and I am sure I will get there, but as much as we are putting out there for the world to see about this challenge, the pressure is really on to give it our best!  It is great feeling that Nicole at Giggle and Dan believed in us enough to choose us and to see us through the process the way they are.  Who wants to let them down?  Who wants to get on the scale with Dan standing there and not having lost weight?  No thank you!   So, whatever it takes, I'm up for the challenge...like no fruit, dairy or grains for a week while we "Spark" out metabolisms.  I can handle it, we can handle it, and if we inspire others along the way, even better!

Burpees, woodchops, lunges, ball slams, sit ups, Oh My!

OK, I totally stole the title from Dan on Thursday.
Wow, this weeks workouts have been awesome and intense!  We've been doing things I had no idea we could do 5 weeks ago.  The title doesn't even mention the partner medicine ball swap we also did, which involves us jogging 2 laps at a time around the block while holding a medicine ball (10 lbs in my case) over our heads.  When we get too tired we swap the ball off to our partner, then back and forth.  We did a total of 4 laps on Thursday (which is not quite a mile).  We also did 30-40 woodchops, 40 lunges, 40 ball slams, 20 burpees and 30-40 sit ups&bicycles.  Oh and I had also run a mile with Andrew at morning mile that morning.  Needless to say, wow, I was totally exhausted.  I felt like I could hardly walk to the car.  The good news is that according to my scales I've lost about 2-3 more pounds so that's a total of about 15.5 pounds in the past 5 weeks.  Now, if I can double that in the next 5 that would be really nice!  I am actually looking forward to our stadium workout in the morning, I am sure I won't be able to move on Sunday, but that's OK. 

Tonight is our early Valentine's Day date night.  We're going for a couple's massage and then dinner...where and what has yet to be decided, something yummy & healthy!  No cheating for me!!

Times They Are A Changing!

I was thinking today about how many ways my life has already changed since starting the Giggle Magazine BWLC, training with Dan and eating clean!  The first thing I noticed was my grocery store trip.  I went to Publix and this was what was in my cart: bananas, apples, baby carrots, sweet potatoes, strawberries, celery, squash, zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, blueberries, baby spinach, leafy romaine, spring mix, mushrooms, Greek yogurt, skim milk, Lara bars, eggs, chicken breast, Boar's Head low sodium skinless turkey meat and some skim milk mozzarella cheese sticks for the kids.  There is a lot of good stuff in there (makes me hungry just reading it actually!)  OK, I can't say that was ALL I bought, but certainly fresh, healthy, REAL food made up 90% of what I bought. 

Then, this morning as I was doing the "morning mile" at school with Andrew I noticed that I am doing a lot more jogging than walking these days.  In fact, my son isn't quite running circles around me like he used to...I caught up to him and his cronies walking (or taking a break from being chased by/chasing the girls)!  As I ran up behind them I said "You're about to be passed by YOUR MOM!"  They all took off, but it wasn't long before I caught them again and one of his friends said "Dude, your mom is catching up with us again!"  Ahhh..so I had the boys running from me, but in this case it was a good thing, right?  I'm getting faster and I'm motivating them to pick up the pace!  Don't get me wrong, I doubt I'll challenge him to a race anytime soon, but I am looking forward to running the 5 Points of Life Kids Marathon with him in a few weeks (which is really only 1.2 miles the day of since they have completed 25miles prior to the day of the event). 

I love that my clothes are starting to fit loosely, that my hubby notices that I'm looking thinner, that I can tell I have more endurance when training, that I am stronger.  I have more energy, but then I fall into bed at night exhausted and sleep so well.  I feel better about the way my whole family is eating and that Samantha has become a blueberry (you must hear her say blueberry) and orange fanatic.  I love working out with Dan and the girls and look forward to it.  I am excited about planning my 10 year anniversary trip with Chris & thinking about how much thinner I will be when we go :-)  I'm even excited about doing stadiums with the group this Saturday..I know, but I am!  Everyday I can find a way that this is changing my life for the better and the lives of those around me too. 

Living the Sweat Life~

www.gigglemag.com
www.sweatlifefitness.com

Keeping It Going, Figuring Out How To Get It ALL Done!

Whewww, I am tired today, I feel like I could sleep all day!  Not a chance though, the hubby got up early this morning to go play golf in Ocala, so I had all three kids (and the dog) in my room by 7:45 wanting breakfast.  Why they are so hard to drag out of bed on the days we have to be up early and then are bouncing off the walls on the days we don't, I'll never know?  I'm trying to decide what training I'm going to do today, maybe Zumba at the gym, maybe just go to the gym, maybe bike riding with the kids and then some of the things Dan has given us to do to go along with it?  I just know I want to keep moving today!  I feels good to see the numbers on the scale going down and I want to make sure it stays in that direction!  I feel like just about everything else in my life has been neglected lately, umm, like that huge mess of a laundry room....but if it comes to going to the gym or folding laundry, well, I guess we can all see what takes priority.  I know that at some point, I am going to have to figure out how to balance it all though.  I have to admit the cooking, shopping and eating clean does require more time, time well spent, but there is a reason why fast food is called fast food, right?  Of course it isn't really food either.  I just know that the time I now spend training and focusing on eating clean is the time I used to clean the house and sleep, I guess.  Well, I'm in the zone now and I will have to figure out how to fit the other things in.  I am going to go at this as hard as I can while I have Dan and the BWLC girls doing it with me! 

www.gigglemag.com
www.sweatlifefitness.com